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Posted by Susan Again

In Reply to: Re: Surprise, you´ve got a kid... posted by Susan in Wichita, Kansas

In addition, I am the stepmother of a son with whom my husband has had established and regular visitation with since the day the boy was born. We pay support and carry health insurance for him.

There are things we disagree with the boy´s mother about how she might choose to raise him.

But she is his mother, and loves him. And more importantly, he loves her. He is now nine years old. We would NEVER try to take him away from his mother, unless there were the most drastic of circumstances involved.

IF my stepson´s mother did not work, and instead signed up for welfare, then WE might have a valid reason to say that he should live with us - he KNOWS us.

But you and your husband have NO RIGHT to expect that ANY court would take this child away from his mother and give him to the two of you. That isn´t saying that you and your husband aren´t perfectly wonderful parents, or that you wouldn´t care for him as well as she does. Visitation should be encouraged, if that is what the boy wants. But this relationship must be fostered like any other. And if given the chance to stay with his mother or go live with two people he´s never met - I expect the boy would choose the former.

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